Orbit

Sebaik kereta yang aku pandu melepasi gate pengawal yang menahan aku daripada masuk semalam, degupan jantung aku kembali kepada normal. Ada beberapa perkara yang buatkan aku paranoid dalam dunia ni salah satunya, pak guard. Tak kira sekolah, Universiti mahupun pagar rumah. They have this "hei gua guard, look" atau "hei gua dah jadi polis" something like that.

Ironically, that guard smiled and I smiled back and it was 6.30am, that I had to send my sister to School. Last night when he stopped me by the gate he was asking questions yang betul-betul boleh buat kau rasa annoyed. Pukul 10 malam, dan masih particular tentang lampu kereta dan bla bla bla.. I was fetching my sister from her tution, so dia juga perasan pengawal atau 'provos' tadi was the same guy.

"That was the same guy kan Kak? the one who was being annoying last night?"

"Yup"

I just hate to drag a conversation in the morning, I can't hardly open my eyes. It was 6.30am! and I was never a morning person.

But again, the guard's smile was still in my head, I felt terrible for him to work on a night shift that he had to work till morning, he must be really exhausted.

"Kakak, can you please drive a bit faster. Need to be there before 7.20!"

I drove till we came across a flyover. That flyover was the first in Kuantan, and it had just opened less than a month for public. My sister was memekak-ing besides me, as if we were late. It was drizzling. Many cars were speeding, aku berkira-kira mungkin mereka lambat ke kerja.

Dan dalam sekelip mata itu, aku menekan break kereta sekuat hati.

"Ya Allah, kakak! Kena ke?" dan aku tahu disaat itu, dia juga paranoid dan there's no such words yang boleh define how scared she was. How scared I was.

Lelaki berseluar biru tadi mati. Mati sekelip mata. Mati..

**

Sebaik aku turun dari flyover baru tadi, sebuah motosikal memotong aku dari belakang dan mencelah masuk, he didn't gave any signal that he went to the right and because he was fast, dan jalan was slippery, he fell. And he was hit by a car from behind.

I stopped, dengan keadaan ketakutan dan degupan jantung yang lebih laju dari berjumpa pengawal tadi, aku memberanikan diri. No, I was not being brave. I didn't know what to do, but it was right in front of me. I had to stop. But I stayed in the car.

"Kakak, what are we going to do? call ambulance lah kak"

"I don't know, tunggu sekejap lagi."

Ramai yang berhenti, we were there about 30minutes. I couldn't drive. I was a bit traumatized. People were all over the body, they covered him with papers. And the ambulance came.

I drove my sister to school, dan dalam perjalanan, we didn't speak.

Silence. Kedengaran lagu Fergie "Big girls don't cry" memecah kesunyian.

**

As I was picking my sister from school at 3 tadi, we didn't spoke about what happened pagi tadi.

I had to stop at the gas station,

"Kakak turn over! Let's isi minyak somewhere else please"

"why?" tanyaku.

"Look" sambil menunjuk ke arah seorang lelaki yang sedang bersilat di tengah panas.

He wasn't wearing any shirt. His hair was long and seluar yang hampir londeh.

"we're living in madness" Let's just go home.

Dan aku memandu pulang terus ke rumah.

**

Life is too short to argue and being desperate.